


should have seen it coming

by courfeyrac



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, POV Second Person, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:59:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courfeyrac/pseuds/courfeyrac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You really should have seen it coming. It's not like it was a surprise - you always have fallen for girls completely out of your league.</p>
            </blockquote>





	should have seen it coming

It started on February the 3rd. You were pissing off Nyssa and she banned you from the forge for the day. Jason was training with Clarisse, the scary-ass Ares girl who could probably pummel you in ten seconds flat. Piper was leading her siblings up the lava wall. You hadn't really made many other friends at camp, so you just wandered around. Somehow you ended up at the beach. You hadn't been expecting anyone else to be there, so you had to do a double take when you spotted her sitting in the sand, arms wrapped around her knees.

You had worked with the girl for two months now, and she still intimidated you more than anything else you'd encountered. Instead of approaching her, you watched from a distance. (And no, you were not a stalker.) She didn't do anything but sit and stare out at the ocean like it would bring her missing boyfriend back. Well, actually, you weren't sure it _couldn't._ He was the son of the sea god. Maybe he'd wash up some morning and everyone wouldn't have to walk on pins and needles around her anymore.

The horn sounded throughout camp and your train of thought immediately switched to the prospect of food and what might be served for dinner that night, the blonde girl on the beach forgotten.

It had become a habit after that. Watching her when she thought no one was. You saw how her mask of partial happiness fell apart, showing her true despair. Sometimes you'd catch her crying. Sometimes you'd even hear her sobs. Surprisingly enough, it didn't bother you; didn't make you feel awkward like if, say, Piper were crying like that. She puzzled you. She didn't want anyone else to see her weakness so she faked stability and only let her guard down when she was alone. You wondered if she used to let her guard down around Percy. Maybe she wasn't always like this. Maybe his disappearance brought this on. You didn't know why, but it made you want to finish the boat so you could find him faster.

You made your first mistake towards the end of March. One day she went to the woods instead of the beach. You followed her, thinking that you could stay hidden. You didn't. You were behind a tree and moved your foot an inch; just an inch, that's all it was. Your sneaker found a twig and snapped it in half. The resulting noise echoed through the clearing. Her head snapped up and found you immediately. Her eyes widened and you thought she would come after you with her knife, but she just bowed her head and sighed deeply. You walked forward and sat next to her on the log. Neither of you knew what to say.

"Why do you pretend to be happy, if you're really so sad?" you asked.

She didn't answer for a while, but you knew she wasn't ignoring you. When she did speak, it was no more than a whisper. "Because if I broke down, so would the camp."

You were confused. She could sense it. "I can tell they all look up to me. They know that if I am optimistic about the situation, they can be too. The moment I lose hope, so do they. I can't let that happen."

You nodded. "Well that's just unfair."

She sort of smiled. "I suppose."

Neither of you spoke for a while. The horn rang for dinner and she stood up, offering you a hand. While eating, you noticed how she plastered a smile on her face and laughed with her brothers and sisters. You had to admit, she was a pretty good actress.

The next few weeks were like any other. You worked, you ate, you slept, repeat. You hardly had time to watch her because Nyssa had you working overtime. The few free hours you had were spent with various campers who helped you use your fire without it taking so much of your energy. It'll be an important asset, they said. It's fucking exhausting, you said.

After one particularly jolly campfire, you saw an exchange between her and one of her brothers – Malcolm, was it? He led the Athena kids back to the cabin and she slipped through the shadows towards the beach. You followed. She probably expected you since she showed no sign of surprise when you sat down next to her. She was staring at the sea again.

"Tell me about him?" you asked.

It looked for a moment like she was about to cry. But then she laughed a dry laugh and "Gods, he's such an idiot."

You thought it was a strange way to start describing your boyfriend but you didn't interrupt.

"I mean seriously, half the things he does I wonder if he even thinks about first. Actually, scratch that. I know he doesn't think. He's all impulse. Which I suppose is why he's so good at everything." She took a deep breath. "Half the time I want to rip his head off. But then he does something funny or brave or completely selfless and I just _ugh!"_

She picked up a stone and flung it out into the water. It made a large splash. Then her entire body deflated and she fell back down onto the sand. She turned and looked at you desperately. You could see tears shining in her eyes. "Have you ever wanted something _so badly_ but no matter how hard you try, you just can't reach it?"

There was a lump in your throat and you couldn't speak. She broke down seconds after that. It was the first time she cried in your company and you weren't quite sure what to do with yourself. So you just sat with her. Let her get it all out. You didn't laugh, didn't judge. You were just there. A near invisible presence meant to show her that she wasn't alone.

You got closer as the days went on. She said she liked you because you could cheer her up when she needed it, could listen to her problems without commenting on every little fact (since you were a Hephaestus kid), and just had that sort of fun aura. She would talk to you about everything – Percy, her siblings, Jason and Piper, what she hoped was for dinner, even her designs. You would talk sometimes too, but it was mostly listening. You had no idea what was going on with you, because you hadn't sat that still and that silent before in your life.

When you weren't with her, your eyes found her. When you couldn't see her, you thought about her. When you closed your eyes, you dreamt about her. You had no idea what was happening and it scared the hell out of you. You noticed little things about her, like how she bit her lip when she was thinking. She rubbed her arm when she was anxious. There was always one curl that didn't make it back into her ponytail. The tips of her socks just barely peeked out over the canvas of her Converse.

Someone would say the word pretty or beautiful and you would immediately think of her eyes, silver like the moon, or her hair, golden as the sun. An Apollo girl would sing at the campfire and you would imagine what her voice sounded like singing. It was already so pretty when she spoke.

Couples would walk hand in hand or kiss in front of you and you would wonder what her hand would feel like in yours. What her lips would feel like, taste like.

You would look at her, thinking of Percy, and a huge pang in your chest would arise. It hurt _so_ badly and the pain consumed you until you had to walk away and set something – anything – on fire. The idea of her upset over Percy made you so angry that you envisioned finding him and ripping him to shreds for being so stupid as to get himself kidnapped.

One day at the very end of May, you two were the only ones in the forge. The ship was basically done; it just needed some slight tweaking and multiple checks by the designer and architect. She had a clipboard in hand and a pen behind her ear. Running her hand along the surface of the mast, she took down a few notes and started subconsciously chewing on the pen cap. Some switch inside you flipped and you knew then what you had been feeling over the past few months.

You strode over to her, confident, and took both the pen and clipboard from her hands. She had a confused look on her face but you didn't let her question you.

"Look. I'm not that good with talking about my feelings but I'm gunna try, okay? We've been hanging out for a while and … I dunno there's just this … spark or something when I'm around you. Like, this connection between us … and I know you have a boyfriend but he's been gone since December and the only time you ever smile – for real, not that fake thing you do – is when you're around me. I'm not trying to sounds conceited or anything but it's true. There's no way you don't feel anything. I know you do."

She said nothing. You stepped forward, grabbed the sides of her face, and kissed her. It was nothing like you imagined. You thought it would be awkward – you weren't as much of a ladies man as you said you were – and short and just strange. But it wasn't. It was fucking amazing. You could have sworn you saw fireworks, as cheesy as it sounds. It ended too soon.

She tried to pull back. You didn't want to force her into anything so you unattached your lips and pressed your forehead against hers. She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her brows were wrinkled. She was trying to think of what to say. You prayed to Aphrodite that she was so flustered because you completely rocked her world but the voice in the back of your mind told you that wasn't the case. She opened her eyes but avoided looking into yours.

"Come on, don't tell me that meant nothing to you," you pleaded. It worried you how desperate your voice sounded.

"I – uh, that – that was … completely uncalled for. I like you, I do. You're one of my best friends. But… but that's all you are." She pulled out of your grip and backed away. "I'm sorry." She sprinted out of the forge the moment she got off the boat.

You stared where she last stood for hours. You had never felt pain like this. Burning, consuming, I-want-to-jump-off-a-bridge sort of pain. You couldn't look at her at dinner. Hell, you couldn't even eat at dinner.

You only spoke to her when it was needed for the ship, and even then, you avoided eye contact. During the voyage to the Roman camp, you hung with Jason and Piper. If she came near, you ran off. You tried not to watch when she was reunited with Percy, but honestly, who could draw their eyes away?

The night before the ship was to set sail for Greece, Percy approached you. You had been sitting on the hill, looking at the half-blood village below. He sat down next to you without saying anything, much like you had with her many times before.

"Annabeth said you took care of her while I was … gone."

You're sure you're gunna get it now. The big huge son of Poseidon is gunna beat you to a pulp because you took advantage of his absence and kissed his girl.

"Thank you. She needed someone there for her. I don't know how you managed to get close to her, but I'm glad you figured it out."

You turn towards him and hope you don't look too dumbfounded. You're not quite sure what to say because _my gods she didn't tell him_ and eventually he stands back up and walks away.

Yes, you really should have seen it coming.

**Author's Note:**

> also published on fanfiction.net under the penname omgerinlovesloganlerman
> 
> come find me on [tumblr](http://www.omgerinlovesloganlerman.tumblr.com)!


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